Of all the many reasons why people fail, the most prominent of them all is self-esteem. Some people do not just see the possibilities God has placed in them. The fact is that we can only do very few things in a positive way if we always see ourselves in a bad light. You must see value in yourself to add value in yourself. If you believe you are worthless, then you will not add any value to yourself. A person with low self-esteem puts a ceiling on his/her potential.
The same you see yourself will be how other people will see you. The value you place in yourself is the same kind of value other people will see in you. Some people only value themselves valuable when other people tell them that they are. What if you are surrounded by people who do not believe in you? The fact remains that if you put a small value in yourself, people will not change it for you. You have to develop the potentials to believe in yourself. Based on that fact that many people lack a sound self-image, there is a need to learn about it and take the necessary step to grow. In what follows we shall see some steps to follow in building a sound self-image.
Steps in Building Self-image
Begin from your head
Your walk towards self-image will have to begin from your head – what goes on in there. Many times we are in conversation with ourselves in our head. What we discuss in there matters a lot. If you are positive about yourself there, then you create a positive self-image. If you are negative, then a negative self-image will follow. Sometimes these negativities that pop up in our heads are as a result of nurture. Murray Smith and John Assaraf hold the view that “by the time we get to age seventeen, we have heard ‘No’, ‘Don’t’ for about 150,000 times, while ‘yes’, ‘you can’, for about 5000 times”.
This kind of negative mental flooding as a child can consequently affect the way we see ourselves when we get older. To change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. To change the way we think, we have to change the mental discussion n our heads.
You need to learn to encourage yourself. You are your greatest fan and cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, you need to pat yourself at the back. When you fail, you need to encourage yourself that you can do better. When you choose discipline over self-indulgence you need to tell yourself how good such an act is for you. Say to yourself everything positive that you can say to yourself.
2. Comparison is a thief of Joy:
Stop sending your time in comparing yourself with others. It will yield one of these two results: either you perceive yourself as far behind others and therefore feel discouraged or you feel far ahead of others and then begin to feel proud. None of these is a positive attitude for you.
Comparing yourself is a needless distraction. Spend more time in comparing yourself with yourself. Compare your success of yesterday with that of today. Evaluate your progress over a period of time and see to it that you are heading towards the growth you want.
3. Break your mould
Break your mould and move forward. These moulds are limiting beliefs and self-made prisons that keep you hell bound for growth. When you put a limit on what you will do, says Charles Schweb, you are as well putting a limit on what you can do. As soon as you change your self-limiting thoughts, your life will surely change the way it is for a better one.
You can break this mould by identifying the limiting factor. Then you determine how exactly the beliefs limit you and then you take the decision to break the mould. This decision has to be back up with corresponding actions that will lead you to that freedom you desire. Remember, Jesus sets you free.
4. Add values to other people
People with low self-esteem often see themselves as incapable and as such, they focus often on themselves and become selfish and self-protective. This actually may be as a result of their past experience. Whatever be the case, adding value in others can make you see value in yourself. Making a difference in the life of other people, no matter how small, can lift one’s self-esteem. It’s hard to feel bad about yourself when you are doing god to other people. Again, creating value in others help to create a cycle of positive feelings in our communities.
5. Do the right thing – even if it’s difficult
Doing the right thing has a way of boosting our self-esteem. Being true to yourself and your values – be it from a religious or cultural background is a huge esteem builder. When we build our character, it improves our self-esteem. The more difficult tasks we accomplish, the more we feel that we can do something for ourselves and others.
When we live a bad life and cause chaos in the community, deep within us, we lose our self-esteem. Thus, we have to train ourselves to do the right thing, even if it’s a hard thing.
In discovering your purpose in life, you must have to know yourself. Part of knowing yourself is in seeing value in yourself. This is a necessary step towards building an authentic leadership attitude.